I'm finding great joy and accomplishment in the little things. Well, now most of my life is full of "little" things - from where I sit I can see a little pair of boy shorts, baby scissors for cutting nails, a little monster backpack, a little rocking chair, and diaper rags strewn about. But now my highlights for the day are "little" in comparison to ... well, everyone else's. :) But I think that's how this phase is supposed to be.
For example, I feel like a million bucks when I have a great day of cloth diapering. Or when my sink isn't full of dirty dishes anymore. Or the laundry is clean, folded and put away. Or my yard is still green because I remember to water it. Or when I make time for a good phone conversation - even if it is only 5 minutes. Maybe it's the feminist culture that we live in that has brainwashed us into assuming that all of these "little" things are little; maybe they're not. Maybe being a woman who nurses a baby, does laundry, keeps her house clean, and remembers to make time for her friends is a better accomplishment and more worthwhile than running an organization or going back to work. (But many amazing women do BOTH, and that really is incredible.)
Today starts the 2nd week of staff training for summer camp. I really love our staff this year; they're young, excited, hilarious, and hard working. I'm 10 years older than most of them, which seems like a really big gap. But they're sweet to include me when Malacai and I show up for activities. (Malacai is hit, by the way. He is usually asleep when we're around staff, but that doesn't keep them from fighting over who gets to hold him. I love that my children will be well loved.)
I'm still working on finding my rhythm. I'm learning to let go of my expectations and ideals. Sometimes I miss the "me" moments of a day - the 15 minutes of quiet with just me, Jesus, and my coffee, or sitting in a hot shower for half an hour. But I'm figuring out that it is still possible to walk closely with the Lord while caring for Cai... it just takes a bit more determination and flexibility.
And speaking of time with Jesus... Cai is sleeping, so I better use this time wisely!